Adventures of the Warlock's Apprentice
by pizzansushi
Summary: (AU) One rainy night, a warlock, finds a stray cat in alley. He takes Hinata in and breaks her curse. Turns out, his smitten kitten is actually a young lady. Naruto the Warlock allows her to stay beside him as his apprentice, although her looks and wiles will likely be the death of him. Blame it on the cauldrons, but his castle dungeon is getting a lot hotter. (Lemons)
1. Chapter 1

**Adventures of the Warlock's Apprentice**

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AU Wizard Naruto finds a stray cat in the rain. The cat turns out to be a girl. She becomes hot for teacher. And well, he can't help but feel warm and fuzzy around the catgirl called Hinata. She has some troubles of her own. Maybe they can help each other out? At the end of it all, they open a bakery. Warning: Lemons. Smut.

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 **Chapter 1) Captive**

Rolling thunder clashed outside the castle walls. Smothering his ears with a pillow, the wizard was just trying to get some sleep. Completely exasperated, Naruto reached for his wand and put a sound spell on the castle. Much better.

Meow. Meow. Meow. _Help. Help. Help._

Ignore her, it'll go away. He thought.

Meow. _It hurts._

Meow. Meow. _So painful._

"Ugh!" The wizard Naruto threw his bed covers aside. He threw on a night robe to cover himself. Stomping down twelve flight of stairs made his anger at her fade. This whole ordeal has been harder for her than it's been for him. Out of the blue, Naruto thought of an idea. He would let her borrow his wand. He told his wand to vibrate.

Finally, Naruto reached the dungeon. "What do you want, Hinata? **_Try_** to keep quiet. I work at 4 am at the shipyard until ten. Then, I am going to work from noon 'til midnight at the forge. I need sleep!"

Meow. _Sorry._

"Here take my wand and use it. I heard it helps with this kind of thing." Sticking his vibrating wand through the slot in the jail cell, Naruto waited for her to take it. Quizzically, Hinata flapped one ear sideways. She closed her hand around his pulsating wand.

Hinata took a step away from the barred window.

 _Goddamn!_ Naruto thought. He saw everything.

Everything. As in, he saw her dress on the floor. She was naked. Bare as the day she was born. She was all woman, except for the cat ears and the tail. Her fleshy titties were just out there taunting him. Big bouncy mounds waited to be squeezed. Her toned waist led to a crotch with a nice thigh gap. She had beautiful supple thighs. From this angle he couldn't see her ass, but he knew that thing was lovely too. Tall as she was, she had legs for days. She had a curvy, yet slender form. That it! She was trying to kill him.

Looks were not the only thing that killed. Her smell reached him back when he was walking down the stairs. The luring scent of cinnamon and vanilla was seeping out from her. He was trying his hardness—hardest, he meant hardest! So, that he doesn't fuck her in the pussy with his hardness.

Ruffling his blond hair with his worn hands, the wizard groaned. "Hinata, why aren't you wearing clothes?"

Propping her elbow out, she had one hand on her hip. Meow! _It's too hot!_

Naruto sighed. "Fine. Just take that wand and use it like this…"

Parting his legs into a horse stance, Naruto made hand gestures like he was shoving a stick up his crotch.

Hinata copied incorrectly. She was making poking motions in front of her crotch with the stick. It looked as if she was using his wand as a toothbrush for her pretty blue pussy hairs.

"Urgh! Alright! Good job, Hinata. You have fun with that wand. Good night!"

Meow. Meow. Meow. _Goodnight to you too, Naruto!_

Sweet as she was, Naruto could not get himself to be angry at her anymore. She was a cat in heat. Poor thing.

Three days ago, Naruto caught his shy Hinata out in the woods grinding her naked body against a tree. She was delirious! A male werewolf took opportunity. The werewolf hugged her. She grinded herself against the werewolf, too! Naruto, being the heroic wizard he was, zapped his wand. He teleported her into the nicest jail cell he had. It had a four poster bed with lots of down blankets. There was a small library of books along the walls. The jail cell even had a posh washroom attached. But Hinata would say, "Me out! Me out! Meoooooow!"

He would not let her out. She would end up mating with half of Erandale.

A couple weeks ago, she was fine. She cooked delicious meals for him. She helped him brew his potions. Naruto suspected that with proper training, his apprentice would excel in magic. Hopefully, this heat thing ends soon. He could go back to having a good friend and delicious meals.

Time for some sleep! Work was going to be hell tomorrow.

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Hinata thought of Naruto and the weird dance he did. The former princess chuckled.

She did the dance in the mirror. How did he do it? Right. He stood with legs apart like he was sitting in a chair. Then, he waved his fist in front of his peeing hole!

The girl with blue hair and cat ears laughed so hard, she fell onto her bed.

There was this hotness all over her body. It was terrible. She felt like her big breasts were burning and swelling with water at the same time. Her bloated boobies felt painful. Her crotch ached and her womb churned. Rubbing herself against a pillow she felt a little better.

The last time she looked in the mirror, her pale purple eyes had turned an angry violet. Heat made her feverish. Bad ideas flew into Hinata's head. A vision of a chained Naruto sleeping in his bed came into sight. Hinata's purple eyes turned milky and pupilless. She saw herself grinding herself on top of him. Naruto grunted, "Yes! Yes! Yes! Hinata, don't stop!" It seemed like he enjoyed her grinding against him. Suddenly, all the uncomfortable heat and pain went away. _The warlock will make all your pain go away_. An echoing voice said to her. And the heat pain came back. She cried.

It hurts so bad she cried. But Naruto has work tomorrow and she covered her mouth to keep quiet.

Naruto trusted Hinata as a friend and an apprentice. So much so, that he had given her his wand to use regularly. They helped with her chores. Now, that her master saw it fit to lock her in this damn jail, she used his wand to summon food and fresh clothes. She was still a beginner at magic. She knew how to get things into the jail cell. She couldn't seem to get things out pass the seal on the jail. But she could get things in.

Maybe the vision meant something. Maybe she should summon her master. If the vision was true, it would make him feel good. It would make her heat pain go away.

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Grey stone walls surrounded Naruto. He tried to sit up. He could not. All four of his limbs were each chained to a post on Hinata's bed. He was in her jail cell.

He tried to break the handcuffs with electric magic. Zap! The magic sprang back at him. Off course! Hinata had summoned mirror metal cuffs into her cell. Any magic attack Naruto used would be sent back at him.

The electrical stimulation made his cock stir to life. His cock was a handsome cock. It wasn't too big, it wasn't too small. It was a good six inches.

Suddenly, Hinata came out from behind the shower curtain.

"Hinata! Let me go!"

Meow. _No!_

She placed her hands on her hips. She leaned her chest forward in her standing position to show him that she was crossed with him. Unfortunately, it only turned his cock harder. Her boobs were dangling forward and her shoulders were pulled back from having her hands on her hips. It looked as if she was offering him her beautiful boobies.

Meow. Meow. _This is a taste of your own medicine! How do_ _ **you**_ _like being locked up, for a change? You wouldn't let me out! Me out! Meoooow!_

She stomped her foot and her boobies jingled. Naruto was pass repenting for his sins. He was somewhere in lalaland. The bouncy big baubles had him entranced.

Cat reflexes allowed Hinata to land lightly besides him on the bed. Naruto slept naked, it was strange, but Hinata had chained him to the bed anyways. She laid beside him. She arched out her belly and accidentally touched his meatstick. The meatstick wiggled. _How curious?_ The catgirl thought.

It was as if he had a wand sticking out of his hips. Hinata knew men had penises, but she's never actually seen one before.

HInata reached over one hand to touch Naruto's meat wand. It felt warm and hard.

"Ugh!" Naruto's eyes squinted and his head lulled backwards. Hinata was gyrating her hips against his. She arched her breastbone against the side of his chest. Her two boobs sand _witch_ ed him. They flopped sideways and jiggled against him. One was underneath his armpit and the other booby bounced on top of his nipple. Naruto's nipple rubbed against the underside of her boob. He felt her pubic hair brushing against the side of his hips. He wanted to FUCK! He wanted to fuck his gorgeous friend Hinata, so badly.

"Hinata, stop. Just freeze for a second."

The catgirl freezed. She had the most loving look in her pale lavender eyes. God, she was gorgeous. The shape of her eyes reminded him of the moon half waned. Her pert nose curved proudly upwards. She had baby pink lips, the looked as soft as rose petals. Silky strands of her sapphire hair teased his chest. She had him under her arms.

The only reason someone this good-looking would want him was heat. There was no way she wanted his body. She was out of her mind, right now. He had to stop her.

Meow. _What is it, Naruto?_

"D-do you like me?"

Meow. _Yes. I like you a lot._

"W-what do you like about me?"

Meow. _I don't know. Just because? You help people, even when you know they won't be able to give you anything in return. You helped me. You are so kind and intelligent. You speak the truth. You cannot stand injustice. You are so handsome and strong. That helps too. I like you, Naruto._

She stroked his chest, while she stroked his ego.

Naruto was at a loss for words at her confession. "R-really? Well, I like you too. You're the most beautiful girl I have ever met. And you're so nice...you're very nice."

Meow. _Thank you, Naruto._

The front of her head was nuzzling his neck. "Wait, Hinata! You know, you can get pregnant from this, right?"

Meow. _Yes, I know._ _It just hurts me so bad not to touch you. But if you want me to stop, I will. You don't actually like me, do you?_ Hinata tilted her head slightly to enunciate her question.

"No, that's not it. Are you okay with becoming my mate. My wife?"

Meow! _Yesss! Yes! Yes! Yes, Naruto!_ Hinata practically glomped him. She hugged him across his chest.

"Yes! Thank you, Hinata!"

With her head over his heart, love swelled within him. He brought her home four years ago. She spent a whole year as a small cat. Naruto figured out how to break half of her curse. She became a catgirl living in his castle. He taught her spells. She was his student, his apprentice and his friend. He felt like the luckiest man alive. Now, she was going to be his wife!

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After a long while of hugging and petting, Hinata became mesmerized by his dick. It was so red, swollen, and erect. The top was leaking out white stuff. Precum, she was sure it was called.

Her future husband was no longer chained. He just cuddled her and petted her hair. His hand trailed down her back. It felt wonderful. She rubbed herself against him, her soft breast molded against his hard planes. A big, rough, tan hand squeezed her big milk mound lightly.

"Meow!" Her milk squirted out across the room. Curious blue eyes locked with hers.

He lowered himself and bent his head over her nipple. "May I?"

Lustrous peacock blue locks waved as Hinata nodded.

Letting out his surprisingly large tongue, Naruto lapped at the leftover milk around her nipple. He kneaded her breast softly and her milk leaked out. Possessively, he latched his mouth onto her pink flesh. The warlock slipped a thick finger into his pussy's pussy. Simultaneously, he pumped her milk melon and worked his knuckle into her tight snatch. Her walls clung to him so tightly. He had to stretch her by bending his knuckle.

A warm stretching feeling jolted through his penis. Naruto paused momentarily to look down. His dick was **_expanding_**! The more milk he drank, the bigger his cock grew. It was getting wider and longer. He had to prep his virgin wife properly if he was going to fuck her tiny pussy with his animal-sized cock. His magic dick stick t **witch** ed at the idea of pounding her cunt.

"Meeeeeew!" Hinata's head turned from side to side. The softness of the down pillow provided her something to brace herself with.

Pleasure, so much pleasure, was racking through her body. She could barely think. His rugged working hands were rough and sandy from heat at the blacksmith's forge. She could feel the dry, crude finger inside of her. Calloused fingerprints indented her clinching vaginal walls. The finger reached inside her. Meanwhile her breast was being mercilessly sucked at. The swollen organ was being drained by the man's chiseled jaw. She could feel the prickly, short hairs on his chin against her breast meat.

Naruto squeezed at the lumps holding milk inside her breast. There was a network of milk pockets inside Hinata's breast. By now, some of the milk sacs inside her right breast were soft from being drained. Other milk sacs were still hard as a rock. Naruto's strong hands knead gently. If you feel for it carefully, you could tell which milk duct inside Hinata's breast was drained and which one was still full. Beneath the smoothness of her breast, there were hard lumps of milk sacs.

Deeper in her breast tissue were the milk ducts harder to reach. Naruto began to knead deeper and deeper. His large strong hands grasped her entire boob by the palm. He pressed down so far inwards that the inner milk ducts released their milk. No one has ever touched her breast tissue that far down. She let out a silent scream. He was good!

Hungrily, he lapped at her flesh. He worked a second finger into her. He pumped harder and faster.

"Uh! Uh! Uh!" Hinata grunted as she humped in rhythm to the pushing of his fingers.

"That's it kitten, come for me." Naruto said lowly. His rugged seductive voice pushed her over the edge and she came.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Her screams echoed throughout the castle walls.

The warlock did not stop there. No, he has dreamed of playing with her like this every night since she turned 21 years of age. He slipped in a third finger into her compact cunt. He was going ride his beautiful sex kitten tonight.

She was a whimpering mess. Writhing her lovely proportions against him, she rubbed his chest with hers. Long Spartan legs caressed his back. Her chest rose and fell in the most erotic fashion. Her boobs seem to expand when she breathed in and deflate a little when she breathed out.

"Ride me, Hinata. Ride my hand." Thrusting upwards, Hinata grunted and rode his hand out. He continued feeding on her delicious cinnamon milk. By now, his cock was a ragging red ten inch meat stick. He was going to give her the ride of her life. She would remember the anniversary of their proposal until the day she died.

Pleasure netted through the network of milk ducts in her breast like a spider web. It went further and further. Deeper and deeper. Then, it convulsed through her whole body.

"Uuugggghhhhhh!" She came again. Shaking spastically, she let out a nugget of cunt creme onto his hand. Bending the three fingers in her tight canal, he stretched her out further. He worked in his entire hand. Ruthlessly, he pumped his hand back and forth like he was sharpening a knife at the forge. His Hinata was hyperventilating on his bed.

"Meow! Meow! Ahhh…" The beautiful bluenette stuffed her face into the pillow. It was too much. It was just too much. His hand was going to town inside her. His mouth was sucking her dry.

Finally, she was wide enough to fit him.

"I'm going to put my dick inside you, Hinata." His low seductive voice told her. Gaping at the mouth, she nodded. Then, she craned her head forward. He was holding his dick and pointing it at her pussy.

 _O God, when did it get so big, Naruto?_

He heard her question. "It's all thanks to that delicious milk of yours."

He swatted her boobies playfully. His usually innocent smile turned lecherous. Oh boy, Hinata was in trouble.

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He held down her hip in one hand. He held his dick in the other. His calm blue eyes locked with her captivating violet irises. At full speed, he rammed his dick into her.

"MMEEEEEEEEEE00000000WWWWWWW!" His lovely fiancé screeched.

"That's it, Hinata. Scream for me. Let the whole goddamn town know your mine. Let them know the prettiest princess in all of Erandale has my big warlock cock inside her." Her future husband muttered dirty things into her ear. Heavy pants escaped her splendid lips. The arousal made her pussy relax.

The pain went away. The need for friction made her grind against him.

"Meow! Meow!" _Don't stop just yet, Naruto. I want more._

"Of course, darling." Slowly, he moved inside of her. His cute magic wand was now the size of an **_oak_** inside of her. She could feel his cock against the bottom of her lungs. She looked down to where she ended and he began. On the skin of her belly, she could see a bulge shaped like a cylinder. His cock imprinted through the skin of her belly. She could see exactly where it was inside her. It was fascinating to watch him fuck her. It was like Naruto's cock could control her. His cock **owned** her. She writhed mindless and gasped raggedly.

"Meow." _Harder, please._

Yes, Naruto was the husband Hinata has dreamed of all her life. He was warm, kind, intelligent, hardworking, and generous. He had a good mind, body, and soul. He treated her like his most precious lady. He fucked her like a filthy WHORE!

"Yes, princess." He tapped her cheek with his hand condescendingly. "Who would have thought the goody two shoes princess liked doing the dirty?"

He cooed at her. "Do like my cock? Do you like my unwashed cock?"

A strong hand cradled the back of her head. Lightly gripping a bit of her hair, Naruto guided her head to nod up and down. "Yes! Yes, you do. You love my cock. You are going to take my cock into your pretty pussy every night. Every night baby, it's just going to be you and me."

So turned on was the princess, she started rutting upwards at his cock like an animal. He knew her so well. He knew this was exactly what she wanted. This was what she needed…every night. She could not wait to be his wife.

In and out. In and out. His cock appeared from out of her cunt. It disappeared back into her cunt. Damn, this feels good. Her athletic, well-cared for body was getting wrecked by his cock. Her beautiful thigh gap had been hard-earned from hours of fencing with him. She was able to hold him with her flexible half-feline body. She stretched out perfectly to take all of him inside her.

Animalistic lust surged through Naruto. Friction and heat built up and up. Erotic waves of gratification pulsated through his body. For the first time that night, his beastly cock came. It came so hard it flooded poor Hinata's walls. The foxy warlock grunted.

He arched over her and messaged her boobies. Relentlessly, he continued to piston her cute love box. Convulsing under him, her walls contracted. Her hair fell every which way as she was overwhelmed by his love dick. She could feel the weight of him over her hip, over her chest, and around her legs. Ruthless hands kneaded her boobies like dough. His pistoning became more spastic and rough as more of his love juices lubricated her walls. She was stretched out, wet, and ready. He could fuck her as hard and as fast as he goddamn wanted.

"Come for me, princess." He growled in her ear.

"OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" His princess sighed. A cocktail of virgin blood and cum oozed out of her. It dripped down her supple thighs and onto the bed sheets. It fantastic to get rid of her heat pain. Naruto was her hero once again, him and his magic wand.

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"Wow! Hinata, that was amazing!" Naruto rolled off of her and collapsed onto the bed.

Curiosity got the better of the princess, and she did the most dirty erotic thing that Naruto has ever seen. She took her finger and swiped at the cum between her thighs. She licked cum off her finger.

Suddenly, her vocal cords glowed. "Naruto, I can talk. I think part of the spell's been broke."

He sat up and hugged her. His embraced was so joyful, so over-the-top, it brought her crashing back down onto the bed.

"Congratulations, Hinata! You can go about town now without trouble." His nose nuzzled hers. The two idiots grinned against each other's foreheads.

Forming a wipe with the corner of the bedsheet, Naruto cleaned HInata's thighs of their juices.

"So…now that you got what you wanted. You still want to marry me, right? For real? No, turning back on your promise?"

"I won't run away from you, Naruto. I'll be your wife, forever. I promise."

Smiling like a boy, his locked eyes with her. He looked at her as if she could do no wrong. They fell asleep in each other's arms.

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Morning came, and Hinata woke up to an unlocked prison cell. No longer was she in painful heat. Naruto woke up early to go to work. Despite getting two hours of sleep, he felt oddly more energetic. She washed and got dressed. She went to her dresser and tied a bow on top her head. She covered her ears with the pockets formed by the bow. Her dress skirt hid the fact that she had a tail.

Marching off to town, Hinata bought groceries to cook for her fiancé. Being able to speak gave her new freedom. No longer being a princess gave her even greater freedom. She could marry the man she loved.

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 **I appreciate reviews. Thank you to Banjo the Fox, WindyCitySlayer1, Naruhinalover20, SEEMS L3GIT for commenting.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2) One Rainy Night**

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 **Four Years ago / Summer, 540 A.D.**

Two men bantered of the future. Both were delighted. One would get more land. The other would get a pretty wife.

King Hiashi Hyuga was selling his daughter off to Prince Sasuke Uchiha—for land. Sure the piece of land was a huge stinking desert, but that did not matter. King Hiashi lived for the name. It would make his kingdom look bigger on the map!

"My daughter is **the** Princess Hinata Hyuga. The prettiest princess in all of Erandale! You caught yourself a good deal Sasuke." King Hiashi was pandering his daughter off like a prized breeding mare.

"Oh yes! She is very fine. Quite fine indeed." Prince Sasuke Uchiha leered at the Princess. Princess Hinata shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

Yyassss! She would make quite a good breeding whore indeed! Look at those voluptuous boobies. They would be perfect for feeding his army of babies. What army of babies, you ask? Well, Sasuke was going to breed them babies into her. Give him some time.

She had elegant small shoulders and slender limbs. That ass that was so perky and high. Her face though, it was a work of art, she had the face of an angel. Her hair was held up in bun and hidden in a hennin (a pointed cone hat). Blue locks of hair escaped her cone-hat. If she was this attractive all covered up, Prince Sasuke could only imaging how alluring she would be in bed. Naked with her hair cascading down her back.

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Not all witches are bad. Witches could be nice. My best friend is a witch. Princess Hinata thought.

The eighteen year-old bluenette rang the doorbell. The grey dome-shaped door opened. Out came the witch with her pink bouncy curls—it was no wonder Sakura the Witch was named after pink cherry blossoms, Sakura was simply gorgeous. Big baby blue eyes locked onto Hinata.

"Well Hinata, come in! What brings you to visit deary?" The strawberry blonde witch asked.

Hesitantly, Princess Hinata told Sakura the Witch her story.

"You see, my father is marrying me off to the Dark Prince Sasuke. I was wondering, if you could help me escape."

Princess Hinata knew how useless and disposable she was in royal court. Why, her father made sure to tell her that every day. Once King Hiashi dies, her brother Prince Neiji the Just would rule the kingdom. Hinata was 'only useful for being married off.' But she decided to be selfish. Honestly, no one was going to live in the Desert of Waste. Insultingly, her father had traded her hand in marriage for a huge piece of land no one wanted.

"Yes. Yes. And what would like me to do to help you?" Asked Sakura the Witch.

"I was wondering, you know. If you could use a teleportation spell on me. Send me to Suna. Or Konoha." Princess Hinata suggested.

"Well, what's so bad about marrying Sasuke?" Asked Sakura the Witch sassily. The pink witch was jealous. She would have **loved** to have the chance to marry Sasuke. What an ungrateful girl Hinata was!

"I just don't think we'll get along." The princess said simply.

Suddenly, Sakura the Witch smiled. "You know, Hinata. I'm so glad you came to me. I'm going to **take care** of you. Very good care of you."

The witch pulled out her sparkling pink wand and a jade cat amulet.

Zap!

The room seemed to expand around Hinata. But the room was not getting bigger. Hinata was getting smaller. She looked down at her hands. She had fluffy paws. She had a tail! Hinata crawled over to the bowl of water on the floor. Oh goodness, she hope this wasn't real.

The princess looked into the bowl. She was a cat!

 **Meow!**

The blue coated cat screeched in horror.

"Come here my puppy, puppy, puppies!" Sakura the Witch called sweetly. "I have a snack for you!"

Barking in the distance became louder and louder. Hinata tore her gaze from the bowl of water. She ran through the flapping doggy door. She ran out of Sakura the Witch's cottage.

Rain was pouring down outside. Hinata did not care. She ran as fast as her little kitten feet would carry her. Three black Rottweilers were chasing her. The three dogs wore metal studded collars. They were gaining up on her. Hinata saw a tall cherry tree. She was willing to risk it.

Quickly, Hinata the Blue Cat scurried up the tree. She sat herself on top of a firm tree branch. Lightning struck the tree, and one of the branches close by cracked. The branch fell down to the ground. One particular mean doggy grabbed the fallen tree branch with his mouth. The dog thrashed the tree branch side to side. Shivers ran down Hinata's back. She was so frightened. She ran away from marrying Sasuke, because he metaphorically wanted to eat her. Now, these dogs literally wanted to eat her!

Talk about climbing out of the pot and into the fire.

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"Mwuhahaha! I finally got rid of that annoying princess!" Sakura the Witch cackled.

Ding. Dong. The doorbell rung.

Oh gosh! What was it now!? The witch stomped to the door.

"What do you want?" She growled as she opened the door.

There the stupid wizard Naruto stood. He held onto his umbrella. He handed her a bottle of wine and a bouquet of flowers. This was what all the advice columns suggested, so follow the advice Naruto did. "Uhm. Earlier today, you invited me over for dinner at your house, remember?"

"Oh? Oh! Alright! Come on in Naruto!" The witch held out the door.

The witch heated up some leftover pasta. Sakura did not care for Naruto. He did whatever she said. He was wrapped around her little finger. In other word, Naruto was no fun. Prince Sasuke on the other—now _he_ was a challenge.

But, Naruto did do Sakura a huge favor. He gave her the cat amulet. In returned, she offered him a dinner date. Sakura had planned ahead. Sakura was so glad Hinata had come to her. Because if Hinata had not come over, Sakura would have snuck into the palace. Sakura would get rid of Hinata one way or another.

"Uhm, Sakura? What did you want that amulet for?"

To turn that princess into a cat, that's what! Sasuke's all mine with Hinata out of the way. "Oh, it's just a nice piece of jewelry."

Naruto heard Sakura's thoughts but they didn't make sense. He ignored the noise. The pasta heated up in the pan unevenly. There were warm bits and freezing cold bits.

"Here you go, Naruto!" The witch placed down the plate of pasta. It looked like a plate of worms. The smell was a bit off. Sakura was not a very good witch. She was also not a very good cook. But Naruto did not mind, he was just delighted that someone bothered to cook for him.

Lifting up a fork full, Naruto sampled the pasta. He held back a gag. Oh, oh god. He was going to get food poisoning.

"Mmmhm! You did great, Sakura." Naruto gave Sakura the Witch the good old thumbs up.

"Really? I have a whole bunch of leftovers in the fridge." The witch open her refrigerator. She might as well have pulled out an ice box from the morgue. The putrid stench of death spread throughout her kitchen. Naruto felt queasy.

"Well enough about food. Let's talk about you and me." Smoothly, Naruto coaxed her. Naruto had practiced this line in front of the mirror over and over. The wizard walked towards the witch.

"Sure, if that's where you want to take this." Sakura grabbed Naruto by the tie. She led him to her living room and shoved him onto the coach.

Ugh! Naruto is so annoying. Sakura thought.

Naruto could hear her thoughts. He flinched at her insult.

Naruto really did believe there was something wrong with him. No matter what he did, no one was happy. All day, today at the blacksmith shop people thought he was annoying. He would not lower the price for his services (he just worked at the shop, he didn't own it! He didn't make the rules). He was not fast enough for them. There was always something. But he was always not good enough.

Sakura was not a bad person for thinking Naruto was annoying. He was.

"Now undress and let's get this over with." Sakura said as she unbuttoned her blouse. Naruto went gaga. Sakura's boobies were small, but Naruto was so happy he got to see boobies. Any pair of boobies really.

"Can I…Can I touch them?" Naruto asked politely.

"Sure, deary." Sakura answered in a bored voice. Ever so gently, Naruto grazed her breast with his fingers. Wow! This feels like magic!

Hurriedly, Naruto stripped his clothes off. He was bare in front of her.

"Ahahahaha!" Sakura pointed at him and laughed. "Look at you! You have a hairy chest! Don't you know to shave?"

Naruto was not a coward. But he shrank and hugged his clothes to himself.

Reaching over, Sakura grabbed his penis. She grabbed his penis!

"What a tiny pecker you have! It's only six inches!" The witch cackled.

Naruto did not know this, but his cock was perfectly fine. It was Sakura who had an issue. Her vagina was a **wizard's sleeve**. A big saggy wizard's sleeve.

"You know. Prince Sasuke has a footlong dick! He's twice your size." Sakura gestured, her hands separated further in distance to show the difference in length between Naruto's and Sasuke's dick.

Icy blue eyes grew wide and worried, Naruto was humiliated. He pulled out his wand and zapped his clothes back on. He walked out of the cottage in shame.

He forgot his umbrella. Rain poured down on his head. This was fitting enough. The world was out to rain on his parade.

The wizard walked towards an alley. He just needed to go someplace no one could see him. Then, he could teleport himself home.

Meow! Help me!

Meow! I'm so scared!

Naruto looked behind a dumpster. The cutest little blue kitten stared back at him. Why she was as lonely and miserable as he was.

"How come I can hear your thoughts kitten? In the past I could only hear humans. You're a cat." Naruto wondered. Had he gained new powers that he was not aware of?

Meow! I'm not a cat, I'm a girl! My name is Hinata!

Meow! A witch tricked me!

"Hahaha!" Naruto laughed in his misery. "I'm so sorry. That's not funny. I got tricked by a witch today, too."

He looked at the catgirl. She was cold. Bigger animals might eat her. More importantly, she was a human. She did not deserve this kind of treatment. Naruto could hear all her panicking thoughts. She did not seem like a bad person—well person in cat form, details really.

"Sakura did this to you...She hurt you with the cat amulet, didn't she?" Naruto said with guilt. He had been so desperate for a date, he unwittingly gave Sakura a weapon. It was his fault.

Meow! Yes! I'm so stupid, I got tricked.

So did Naruto.

"Don't blame yourself cat. Sakura is just not a pretty person on the inside. Even I'm beginning to see it now. I want to fix the curse on you and serve Sakura some justice…but I'm still a beginner at magic."

Holding out his hand to her, he said. "Would you like to live with me? It's better than sitting in the rain."

Meow! Sure! I'll come live with you.

o.o

o.o.o.o.o

o.o

The fireplace warmed up Hinata's body. The wizard seemed nice. He had teleported them both with that jagged wand of his. What if Hinata could use magic like that? She could go anywhere she wanted. She could have adventures! It would be wonderful! Well, first, she should probably fix this cat curse.

She stared up at the wizard at his desk. He had colorful stones and gems decorating his house. A human skull model and a globe stood at his study. Sturdy stone walls and wooden beams made up the stronghold. His blonde locks fell over his eyes as he studied. He read through an entire spell book within an hour.

Naruto was slender, lanky. He had nice muscles that imprinted through his wet white shirt. His jaw was firm and chiseled. Icy blue eyes filled with determination scanned the writing. Naruto adjusted his glasses. He was very, very tall. His shoulders were wide. It looked like the rest of his body was still catching up with his growth spurt. He was all skin and bones. But Hinata had an eye for art and beauty. If he fattened up a bit, he would be very handsome.

Meow! Why don't you dry up? You'll get sick like this!

"Hhmph! You worry about yourself kitty." Naruto showed Hinata his book. "It says here, to reverse your curse, you need that cat amulet. The same one that made you like this."

Hinata walked over and gazed at the picture of the jade cat amulet. It was the same one in Sakura's hand.

Meow! I got it! I am going to steal it back!

Hinata prepared to march over to Sakura's house. She strut away from Naruto. Naruto pulled her up onto his lap and patted her head.

"Hold on kitty! We better come up with a plan first." Naruto was worried. Sakura might have transformed Hinata into a cat during the first encounter. Hinata might end up dead in the second one.

"The book says that the cat amulet grants its holder nine lives. Sakura's magic has become nine times more powerful. Rest easy for now."

o.o

o.o.o.o.o

o.o

An azure cat hopped onto the counter. What is Naruto cooking? I t smells wonderful!

She sniffed about. Attempting to sneak a peak, Hinata climbed the stovetop ledge. And into the cauldron she fell! Except Naruto caught her by the tail.

He held her by the belly and lowered her to the ground. The blonde wizard exclaimed. "You almost fell into the potion, Hinata. Be careful! You know what they say, **'Curiosity killed the cat!** '"

Meow! **But satisfaction brought it back.**

" **I don't know about that. Of you go without your snack!** " Naruto placed her on her sleeping mat.

Meow! **I don't** like **sleeping on the mat!**

" **Don't talk back, you crazy cat!** " He was no longer angry at her. Let's see how long she can keep her wits about her. She's kind of cute when she's mad.

Hinata left the mat and pounced onto Naruto's bed. Meow! **Mmmhm! Sleeping on the bed is better than eating rats!**

" **You slanderer! I feed you steak not rats.** " Naruto pointed his finger accusingly at the cat.

Meow! **Well, I'm glad you share with me. It keeps you from getting fat.**

As they laid in bed, the cat and her master argued in rhymes all night. You would have thought they had clang association. Eventually, the golden-haired wizard drifted off to sleep. The blue cat laid on top of his head.

o.o

o.o.o.o.o

o.o

Seven days had passed since Naruto brought Hinata home. The cat and her master fell into a comfortable rhythm of life. During the day, he needed to work. At night he would perfect spells.

"I'm going to transform this pebble into gold." Naruto said. He tapped his wand against the pebble. The pebble evaporated. Hinata flinched.

Naruto promised to work on transformation spells. He would need to perform an upper octave human transformation spell on her. Turning a pebble into gold was only a half pitch spell. Hinata cringed. She hopes he gets better, because she liked existing on earth.

"Whoops!" Naruto said.

Meow! It's okay! Don't lose heart, Naruto!

She encouraged him. He was her only hope.

Once they steal the cat amulet, Naruto had to perform the transforming spell. But at this rate, it would take a while.

HInata like how Naruto trusted her and let her help out. Naruto sold pain relief potions. During the day, Hinata watched a timer and read books. When the timer went off, Hinata pressed the blue button. Potion from the cauldron would pour into a dispenser. The dispenser would pump potion into little vials. What a genius automatic factory Naruto had built.

According to Naruto, Hinata was very important. If she did not press the button the moment the timer went off, the potion would spoil. Hinata liked being important.

o.o

o.o.o.o.o

o.o

It was 6 am. Hinata was hungry. In her half-wake-half-sleep state, the blue little furball kneaded Naruto's thigh. Purr. Purr. Purr.

Purr. **I'm going to soften him up. I'm going to soften his meat up. Then I'm going to EAT him! Mwuuhahahaaa!**

"You know, I can hear your thoughts, right, Hinata?" The wizard said in amusement. He picked her up by the belly and placed her on the ground.

"Come along, I'll make us breakfast." Naruto placed his glasses firmly on the bridge of his nose. He motioned his hand and walked towards the fireplace in his studio.

Meow! **What's for breakfast?**

The cute cuddly cat looked up at him. Her head was cocked sideways. Pretty pale purple eyes gazed back at him. Gently, he picked her up and scratched her behind the ear. He placed her on the counter. He made a signal that said 'stay where you are, before you get your tail burnt.'

"How about some eggs and sausages?" Naruto offered. He got to work—slicing and dicing away. Then, he got to frying and crying because of the onions. Even Hinata's sensitive cat nose enjoyed the smells. Mmmhmm! Onions, peppers, and sausage! She watched as the wizard skillfully sprinkled salt and pepper over eggs and sausage.

Proudly perching up her chin, Hinata said, "Meow!" **Meow! Meow! Wow! Master you are such a good cook! You'll be a good husband one day.**

Naruto froze.

"Well thanks! You really know how to flatter the hand that feeds you, don't ya?" The bespectacled wizard patted his cat's head shyly.

Hinata was a girl, not a cat. Naruto never forgot that. He was working hard on experimenting with spells and potions that might reverse her curse. He was just an amateur wizard. Most powerful wizards went to wizard school or had parents to teach them magic. Naruto kind of just picked up things, here and there. He read the spellbooks, but sometimes his spells went terribly awry.

The young wizard wondered to himself. Would she still stay with me once she's human?

Naruto was a telepath. He could hear people's thoughts. The young man had trouble making friends and finding a wife. Everyone thought he was queer and insecure. That's what happens when you can hear every notion that people secretly thought of you.

No, Naruto did not do anything wrong. In fact, he was the man town folk came to when they needed help. But their perceptions made Naruto feel brutally inadequate. For instance, the policeman Itaru Inuzuka thought Naruto was a resourceful lad. Itaru also told himself that he would never let Naruto court his daughter. People marry for connections—for status. Where would Itaru's daughter be if she married a nobody like Naruto?

Look at Naruto, he was just a simple blacksmith. Naruto had no family, and no title. No one wanted to marry his skinny, bespectacled ass.

Reader, you would think that gold diggers would want to marry Naruto—but even gold diggers were not interested in Naruto! Naruto owned a large plot of land with a **castle**. However, for some reason, whenever Naruto showed his castle to a friend—all they saw was a **hut**! Oddly, only Hinata was able to see his castle. But even if gold digging women wanted Naruto, he did not want them. He could hear their cruel thoughts, loud and clear as day.

It broke his heart.

No one really wanted Naruto for himself. They all wanted something from him. When they were done, they left him.

Naruto wouldn't blame Hinata if she did the same.

But he was beginning to really like her. Never in his life had he ever been so comfortable around another soul. The blue coated catgirl had pure thoughts. Perhaps, that was why Hinata's compliment struck a chord with Naruto. She really meant it. She really thinks somebody could love me. The wizard smiled to himself.

When he was around other people, they always stressed him out with their negativity and ulterior motives. Hinata was kind and simple. She thought purehearted thoughts.

Well, sometimes when she got hungry, Hinata contemplated eating Naruto. But Naruto blamed that on her catty instincts.

o.o

o.o.o.o.o

o.o

AN: For those of you who don't own cats. **It probably confused you why Hinata thinks about eating Naruto**. Scientists think when cats knead your meat, they're softened up your tissues to eat. When the cat gifts you with birds/rats, it thinks you're too stupid to hunt for yourself. They are the cutest assholes in the world.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3) Beating Bindrunes**

Apparently the excellent breakfast was not enough to appease her. Breakfast banter had taken a turn for the worse. The kitten gnashed on Naruto's hand. She was out for blood. She sank her little kitten teeth as deep as she could. The warlock shook the pesky kitten off.

"Hinata, stop it! I don't want to hurt you."

Meow! _So this is all your fault! Tricking me all this time! You and the witch are in cahoots. I never should have trusted you._

Naruto flinched at her last sentiment.

"Listen, I didn't know what a powerful bindrune the amulet was. I was a fool in love. I'm sorry you were made to pay such a dear price. I am very, very sorry." He said in the sincerest voice. He let her gnaw on his hand until she was satisfied. She relented, but mostly because her jaw started to hurt.

Meow! _Do you still love Sakura?_

"I-I…I think she's just like this because Sasuke broke her heart. I just don't believe anyone is actually a bad person. We all make mistakes sometimes, you know?"

 _Lovely, just lovely, now he's defending the witch._ The cat judged the stupid human.

"I'm not defending her. I'm going to set her straight. I'm going to make you human again." Naruto's words were at odds with each other. But, thus was a fool in love. He would not be able to tell you the difference between the sun and the moon.

A very, very hopeful part of him wished Sakura would be sweet and gentle again. An even more hopeful part still dreamt of becoming her lover.

o.o

o.o.o.o.o

o.o

In the end, the princess knew she had nowhere to go. So, she was stuck with the weak-willed warlock. _Ooof! She was so angry with him! If not for his extravagant jewelry gifting, she would not be a cat._

She went over to the spellbook to read more about the cat amulet. The cat amulet had saved the lives of queens and maidens. Cleopatra was among one of many holders of the amulet. The amulet granted nine lives to the holder. Cleopatra had cheated death all nine times. In the end, Octavian had Cleopatra and Mark Antony poisoned. The murder was disguised as suicide and succession followed quietly. The story served warning to brazen holders of the cat amulet. Eventually, the user falls fool to believing himself invincible.

Whatsmore, the cat amulet was composed of Egyptian bindrunes. The cat symbol contained beautiful intricate runes that in embodied one greater image or symbol. Alignment was of the utmost importance, uninvited runes may show themselves from time to time if the father runes were placed in miscalculated arrangement. To enhance a spell, call upon a rune within the amulet. To counter a spell woven with the amulet, find the rouge runes within the amulet.

Hinata stared at the image of the Nine Lives amulet. It looked like knots and mazes laid on top of each other. It gave her a headache.

Suddenly, the cat's eyes flashed a brilliant violet. She began to see the runes. She could hear the runes like heartbeats throbbing to their own tempo. There were little symbols inside the larger picture. The devil was in the details. The father runes showed up in gold and floated off the pages. The rouge runes were sneakier, they flickered red from time to time. Hinata had to really look to find the hidden runes that could unravel the fabric of the bindrune.

She hand-copied the runes that glowed in gold and flickered in red. The catgirl used one of her claws as a pen nib and began to scratch frantically on parcel. Then the lights faded, she could no longer see the vivid runes. She could no longer hear their haunting pulse.

Perhaps, she could translate the runes tomorrow. Now was the time for a cat nap. What an odd occurrence, she wish she could understand what had just passed. Her body collapsed on piles of paper.

Unbeknownst to the catgirl, magic is the power of belief. Ever since she left the castle palace, she began to believe in herself.

o.o

o.o.o.o.o

o.o


	4. Chapter 4

Laugh a little love, its healthy

o.o

o.O.o.

o.o

 **10 years ago**

 **(I know this is confusing. Promise I'll change the timeline to years soon.)**

o.o

o.O.o.

o.o

 **Chapter 4) Ho! Ho! Ho! And a Pot of Gold**

If one were to collect all seven cardinal vices and place them all into one leprechaun, you would have Kakashi Hatake.

 _Pride? Greed? Lust? Envy? Gluttony? Wrath? Sloth?_ It was a shame that there wasn't an eighth sin, because he would have proudly embodied that too.

As of late, Kakashi was short on funds.

You see, a group of leprechauns is called a **_luck_**. As for Kakashi, his lucky charms ran out. At the tender age of 18, Kakashi was casted out of his luck for being **too tall**.

In fact, Kakashi was such an anomaly that he was a bit of a legend. The youth of the luck liked him a lot more than the elders did. They even made a rhyme to remember him by:

 _He ate too much._

 _He slept too much._

 _He stood and sat too proud and straight._

 _And every single night he would masturbate._

 _And greedily he filled up his plate._

 _And envy? It was himself, he envied,_

 _Because he thought he was oh so great._

 _And soon the lazy teen had met his fate._

 _He was casted out, because of the elders' hate._

 _Because of all his habits, he stood at five foot eight._

 _They could barely shove him out our leprechaun gates._

o.o

o.O.o.

o.o

Sniffing about, Kakashi could smell gold in the dragon's den. He could sneak in and steal, but that was the cowards' way of conduct.

No! He would _charm_ the dragon silly and have the creature hand over its treasures. Trickery is when your customer feels duped. Wit is when the customer doesn't realize they've been duped—they come back for more!

Leprechauns didn't understand why their cleverness was so scorned. It was all in good fun. Some people had no sense of humor.

o.o

o.O.o.

o.o

The Farms and Foods Festival was taking place this week. Shikamaru Naru flared his nostrils. It was almost unbearable! The wafts of roasted vegetables and meats drifted from the village below.

And the noise! It was oh so noisy down there. How the little dragon yearned to be surrounded by all the odd creatures in the village.

But at one decade old, the young dragon knew better than to risk his life for some novelty. He could be hunted down by witches and warlocks for his scales. His late parents had warned him about that much.

Taking the form of a human boy, the ten year-old considered walking into town. He would walk a couple yards towards the town. Then, he would shake his head and run back to his cave. He wasn't sure what he really wanted. To live or to just survive.

 _Poof!_

The tallest leprechaun appeared before Shikamaru. From head to toe, the leprechaun was dressed in green. He wore a silly leprechaun top hat and had odd curly-toed shoes. Said leprechaun was sitting on a gleaming pot of gold.

"Hey ho! Poker's the game! And Kakashi's my name!"

 _What a curious jolly creature._ Shikamaru thought to himself. The dragon boy cocked his head to the side.

Marching up to pot he asked. "What's poker?"

"Well why don't you sit yourself a seat? It's pretty simple really.

"High cards beats low cards. You got Pairs. You can have two Pairs. You can have Three of a Kind. Or a Straight. Here's a Flush. A Full House is three of a kind with a pair. You can have four of a kind. Which would be beat by a straight flush. And to flush out a straight flush you have to have a royal flush. That's the order of poker hands from lowest to highest."

Kakashi didn't explain too deeply in depth. Dragons were wicked smart, even the young ones.

"So, it's a game of chance. If ye win, ye gets some of my gold. You want to play?"

The boy nodded excitedly. He hadn't had any company for the last few years. Fun and games was too much for the dragon child to resist.

"But first, you have to have some of your own gold to bet." Kakashi said with a finger raised in the air.

"Ok, wait right here. I'll be back." The dragon rushed to his den and picked out some gold.

o.o

o.O.o.

o.o

Puffing up his chest proudly, the dragon boy admired the pile of gold he won from the leprechaun.

In his love of winning, Shikamaru arrogantly announced, "All in."

"All in for me too, then." The leprechaun said calmly. "Okay, now show your cards."

Kakashi pressed hard on his cards before flipping them over.

"Well would you look at that? You have a pair and I have a triple. Sonny, it doesn't pay to bluff you know." The grey-haired leprechaun gathered the all gold into his pot.

The raven-haired boy sighed disappointedly. "Hey, hey! Don't go yet! I've got more gold. Play another round with me. Please?"

The humanitarian in Kakashi considered having mercy on the dragon. But the greedy leprechaun in him decided to go for the kill. _If I don't cheat him, somebody else will._

"Why, of course!"

o.o

o.O.o.

o.o

Shikamaru returned and boy was determined to win. The previous rounds were so much fun. But he was no longer playing for fun. He wanted the leprechaun to lose all his gold. That way, Kakashi would have no choice but to come back and play with him again tomorrow.

The boy's black pupils turned into lizard-like slits. Suddenly, every one of Kikashi's movements seemed to slow down.

And then, Shikamaru saw it. Kikashi, the leprechaun, had been cheating him all this time. When Kikashi dealt the cards, he sparked a little magic onto them. His slight-of-hand was as swift as quick-silver.

Shikamaru stomped his foot and a gust of wind flipped all the cards over. **There were five Aces!**

"You cheat!" Dragon wings flared out behind the boy's back, and all of a sudden, the dragon boy was blowing fire at the grounds around Kakashi.

"Yikes!" The leprechaun ran for his life.

 _Crack. Crack. Rumble. Rumble._

The pot of gold that was had crumbled into a pile of pebbles. _The trickery!_ It had all been an illusion. Deceitfulness knew no limits. Shikamaru Nara would show him!

Crime truly doesn't pay, children. For Kakashi the Leprechaun ended up sweating for every penny he tried to cheat out of the child. He ran and ran and ran like a delivery man.

And for the first time in his life, the leprechaun cursed his lengthy limbs. His long awkward legs tumbled over a dead log. Flat onto his face he fell.

o.o

Crushingly, the dragon picked him up and tied him to a tree.

"Please don't eat me!" The leprechaun wailed.

Shikamaru scrunched up his face at Kikashi's suggestion. Who would want to eat a stinky, sweaty leprechaun?

"Why do you go about bullying dragons?" Shikamaru bared his small fangs at Kikashi. If Shikamaru hadn't been trying to barbeque him a few minutes ago, Kikashi would have found his poker student quite adorable.

"I wasn't targeting dragons per say. Just trying to make some easy gold." Kikashi lied. He was a crazy, arrogant bastard. He really did want to trick an almighty dragon for the fun of it.

Shikamaru munched on an apple as he studied Kikashi. Most dragons were quite logical, even the temper-tantrum throwing children.

Punishment should be proportionate to the crime. Kikashi only wanted to scam a bit of gold. It wasn't as if the leprechaun was plotting to kill him or take his scales. Shikamaru calmed down a bit.

"Show me how you did it. Teach me how you rigged the cards and faked a pot of gold. And then I'll let you go. Dragon's honor."

"Well…first you need to cough or sneeze."

"What?" The dragon narrowed his eyes.

"No! I'm not lying this time. You need to cough or sneeze to stimulate your vagal nerve. That's how we teach children to activate their chakra."

*chakra = magical energy

"Ah-hack." The dragon coughed. Warmth spread through his chest.

"Now concentrate. And imagine your energy, whether it's cold, or warm, or prickly…imagine that energy moving to your fingertips."

Shikamaru looked at his fingers. Little circular orbs of energy were floating off his fingertips.

"Touch that rock. Close your eyes and channel your energy. Imagine that rock is a gem. Maybe a brilliant red ruby? Or a murky piece of amethyst. Whatever you want."

 ** _Zap!_**

The smooth grey rock transformed a bit. It was no longer smooth but had little red rubies and purple amethyst imbedded into it.

"Well…practice makes perfect, right?"

"Will you come back and help me practice?" Shikamaru untied Kikashi.

"Sure…"

o.o

o.O.o.

o.o

Night fell over the village. Within the black canvas of night, the festival music seemed so much louder. The colorful lanterns shone even brighter. Shikamaru followed from behind Kikashi. The dragon boy made sure to hide whenever the leprechaun turned around.

Kikashi was no longer in his gaudy bright green outfit. He dressed like the village folk did. Shikamaru did that trick with his fingers that Kikashi had taught him. Soon, the boy was sporting an outfit identical to the leprechaun's.

It was so noisy and exciting. People fascinated Shikamaru. But no one seemed as interesting as Kikashi. The man walked with a swagger, like he owned the whole village, like he was enjoying everything a little bit more than everybody else. Copying Kikashi, Shikamaru walked with his hips slightly ahead of himself, he swung his arms and legs as if he didn't have a care in the world.

 _That's it! This is probably how you blend in with the humans. Just act like you've got nothing to hide and you'll never get caught_. Shikamaru admired the genius behind Kikashi's thinking.

Kikashi turned the corner and walked down an alley. Shikamaru followed him. And then the leprechaun was gone.

"Boo!"

"Ahh!" The dragon fell flat on his tail.

"Haha! Ye been following me the whole time. First time in town?"

The boy nodded solemnly.

"Come, I'll show you around." Kikashi chuckled.

Kikashi found it pretty amusing that Shikamaru was dressed exactly like him. Imitation was truly the most sincere form of admiration.

o.o

o.O.o.

o.o

"Remember this?" Kakashi asked as he waved an amulet that belonged to Shikamaru's cave.

"Hey! You said you gave back all my gold."

"Yeah, well with that dull wit of yours, you'll probably have no gold by the time you're my age."

The statement cut through Shikamaru, mostly because it was true. He fell silent for a brief period of time.

Then, he started annoying Kikashi with a bunch of questions.

"What's this?" "What's that?" "Why, though?"

Kikashi had to explain to the boy everything from science behind hot air balloons to what gelato was.

"Samples! Samples! We're moving the gelato inside." A man hollered.

Shikamaru tried the spoonful of green glob that the man had given him. It was…cold…and sweet…and creamy. It was delicious!

The dragon boy dug out a chunk of gold from his pocket. It was called "buying," Shikamaru watched people trade metals for things they wanted. A hand came down and snatched his wrist.

"This is why you stupid **_creatures_** always get caught. You don't understand currency or how to blend in." Kikashi cued Shikamaru in.

"First you have got to pawn the gold. If you buy things for more than they're worth, people will notice you. Now watch."

Kikashi traded his amulet for a sack of small bronze pieces called coins. The leprechaun gave Shikamaru one coin.

"Give him this for the gelato."

And just like that, Shikamaru felt like he was living the best night of his life. He ate so many things he had never eaten before. Gelato. Season rotisserie chicken. A baked potato. Cookies. He felt so full, so happy.

Kikashi answered his questions and named so many newfangled things.

o.o

o.O.o.

o.o

Village people began to rush towards the square. There was a large commotion.

"Burn the witch! Burn the witch!"

A woman in a grey bonnet was tied to a pole. Angry village folk held torches and pitchforks in hand. From a safe distance, Kikashi and Shikamaru watched.

"Hear ye, hear ye! This lady here is a gypsy witch. She's a lying wench selling false prophecies." The hunchback haggard old judge waved his hand as he prosecuted her.

"She sold me crème and it gave me a rash!"

"The wench seduced my husband!"

"Give us back our money!"

Orochimaru, the town mayor, stepped onto the stage. His skin was unhuman in pallor and his hair as black as death. His eyes were slits. Shikamaru felt his skin crawl.

"It appears to me that the lady should pay for her crimes. She cheated you people of money, yes?" The mayor goaded the villagers.

"Yes."

"Then she should be made to pay. Let's say we make her work at the dollhouse. And then she shall pay you all back."

"Aye!"

The blonde maiden shook her head desperately. Her eyes shifted as if begging for help. Cloth covered her mouth and prevented her from saying anything in her own defense.

"Confess to your crimes witch that your life may be spared." Orochimaru ripped the cloth off the maiden's mouth.

"I AM INNOCENT. I told you there was honey in the crème. I can help you if you're allergic. And I didn't do all those-MMmmPH"

Orochimaru pulled on her bonnet and clutched on her hair to hurt her. But soon her bonnet fell off and revealed a pair of white rabbit ears.

The crowd gasped.

"A filthy faunus!"

"No wonder."

o.o

Ino felt like crying, but she hated their satisfied looks. This was really the end for her wasn't it? How in the world would she get out of this situation? The rabbit girl teased at the rope tying her wrists. Even if she managed to get loose, the horde of people would probably rip her to pieces.

"Confess!" Orochimaru raised a hand ready to strike her.

Ino Yamanaka braced herself for the blow. But it never came.

A man with grey-hair was holding Orochimaru's wrist.

o.o

Kakashi snapped his fingers and used a charm spell. All of a sudden, the town folk became infatuated with him.

"Well, well, well. I do believe I owe all of you an apology. This young lady is not a witch, but my wife. I left for battle and she's been turning to some rather unbecoming methods of income. Would you please accept my apology?"

The townfolk nodded to each other and looked around. Their grips on their pitchforks loosened a bit.

You see, in medieval times, one could only accuse an unmarried woman or a widow of witchcraft. One rarely accused a married woman of witchcraft because that would imply that her husband was also an accomplice—and that broke the Code of Brotherhood.***

o.o

 ***** I know. I know. It's super sexist. Legit in European History class they taught us that government officials would falsely accuse widows of witchcraft so that they could take the widow's land and properties (after killing the widow).**

 **Kakashi is a little shit, but at least he's not a hypocrite.**

o.o

"But first let me pay you back for all your troubles." Kakashi had performed a multiplication spell on his sack of coins. He threw coins at the town folk and they began to scurry to catch his wealth.

Orochimaru's eyes grew wide at the realization that he had finally met his match. In all his years as mayor, no one had such audacity!

He would not be played like a chess piece like this.

"Guards arrest him!" The mayor screeched.

Snapping his fingers, smoke began to seep out of the coins. Some people coughed and others fell asleep. Kakashi zapped the rope and grabbed the maiden by the waist.

"Hang on ma'am." The leprechaun took a great leap into the sky. He landed onto the gypsy wagon next to the stage.

"Go!" Kikashi yelled to Shikamaru. The horses snapped forward and the wagon moved through the forest.

The maiden had enough common sense to hide inside the wagon. She thought to herself. _Who the hell is this guy?_

Placing a force field on the wagon, Kikashi clapped his hands and blasted forward a green bubble to protect them.

The ten year-old boy was an awful driver. Kikashi switched out with Shikamaru.

"I'll man the horses, Shikamaru. Blow fire and slow them down for me, will ya?" Kikashi asked.

"Got it!"

The dragon boy crawled back into the wagon and stuck his head out of the curtain. Pursing his lips he blew fire at the dead logs, roots, and branches on the ground. The path was set ablaze. Soldiers staggered back. Their wagon was distancing further and further from their pursuers and the little village.

o.o

Sunshine began to light up the curtains of her wagon. And the beautiful paints inside her wagon showed themselves. The blue, gold, green, pink, and purple hues brought forth a joyful but mysterious ambiance.

"Why did you two save me?" The rabbit girl wondered aloud.

 _Because I pity you_. Kakashi thought. He looked at her.

"I got driven out of my luck. Being a homeless leprechaun, I figured you wouldn't charge me rent if I saved you." He said with a cheeky shrug, his eyes looked forward as he drove the horses.

"Hahaha! You should have just taken the wagon then." Ino guffawed. One of her rabbit ears flapped sideways.

The boy looked at her curiously.

"Can you cook?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Would you cook for us? Can I stay on your wagon, too?" Although the boy was genius, he couldn't for the life of him figure out how to cook. The dragon had developed an obsession for human cuisine after the festival.

"Sure, whatever."

It didn't take her long to figure out them out. They did what they did because they were good people.

o.o

Collapsing backwards, Kikashi's head fell onto the wagon floor. Ino lurched out to stall the horses to a stop.

"He's got no pulse, Ino. Is he dead?"

Ino felt for his pulse he had none. He wasn't breathing. She covered her fist with her other hand and broke his ribs. She started pounding on his chest. Shikamaru gave soft rescue breaths.

 _Come on. Breathe darn it!_

It felt like a thousand moments had passed that his breath could have returned but had not. He was not a small man. Her shoulders ached and her lower back hurted. But the fervor of her efforts stayed constant. He had saved her life, this was the least she could do for him.

Ino had lived with her grandmother on this wagon all her life. She wasn't a magic user, but she knew of them. When they expend too much magic, they could lose their life.

o.o

o.O.o.

o.o


End file.
